Early Happiness Show Episode Outlines



01. Why a Happiness Show?


Why a Happiness Show?
I.  Happiness is the point of our lives
     A.  It's the point of everything we do
          1.  work, leisure, school, marrying, raising children, etc
     B.  It's the point of everything we say
          1.  Conversation, asking for what we need, sharing information.
     C.  It's the point of everything we think and feel
          1.Every thought and feeling avoids pain or attracts pleasure
     D.  It's the point of goodness
          1.  Aristotle; Happiness is the highest good - Ethics
          2.  The greatest happiness for the greatest numbers   utilitarian
          3.  All goodness is designed to bring us pleasure   here or after d
II.  What is happiness?
     Emotion / Mood / State
     Evidence during first few days of life smiling during REM sleep
     Probably is felt before birth
 A.  Ed Diener (Deener)   U. of Illinois, foremost authority on happiness
          1.  4 components   involving pleasure and satisfaction
               a.  experience of pleasure                 Hedonic
               b.  non-experience of displeasure
               c.  satisfaction with life domains like work, marriage, money
               d.  satisfaction with life in general          Cognitive
B.  There is no one right happiness or wrong happiness
          1.  Happiness is different for each person
          2.  There is, however, morally better and worse ways to be happy
III.  Another reason for doing the show: Many of us are unhappy
     A.  In U.S. 14% are unhappy; Correction from 20%
          25% of pop are depressed at any time   Seligman 94 What You  
         World wide 27% are unhappy
         In some countries like Russia, Belarus  only 50% are happy
     B.  Of the happy, many are marginally happy  
          Our level of happiness  in the U.S. is 6.9 out of 10   
          a grade of D
     C.  Important because emotions are contagious
IV.  Another Reason - We, as a population, don't really understand happiness
     A.  Not taught at home
     B.  Not taught in school
     C.  Not addressed directly by Government
     D.  Virtually no businesses teach it 
          Seligman   Happiness Coaches
          Barry Kaufman   Choose to be Happy- gives weekend courses
     E.  While psychologists NOW study it, very few studies on increasing it
          1n 1973 Psychological Abstracts began listing "happiness" as an  
                  index term
V.  As a result, we seek it in ineffectual ways
     A.  Money  B. Education,  C.  Power,  D.  Success,  E. Beauty,  F.  
      G. TV,   H. Drugs and alcohol
VI.  A body of psychological research now exists
     A.  Early studies began by Wessman Doc. Dis.. in 1957, 
  Wilson Doc. Dis. 1960
  In 1960  Joint Commission on Mental Health and Illness
  Gurin, Veroff and Feld
  Americans View their mental health
     B.  Major studies beginning in 60's  - over 3,000 in total
     C.  Thousands of studies now completed  - more each year get figures
     D.  Very few on increasing happiness
     E.  No psycho pharmaceutical research directly related to h increase
          That I know of

VII.  Promotional goals of the show
     A.  Establishment of businesses to teach happiness
            Promote establishment of Federal Dept of Happiness (also Good)
       Our foreign policy   in addition to Democracy and Free market
     B.  Teaching of it in schools
     C.  Development of happy pills
     D.  Promote valuing happiness among the population   seeking more
           Encourage the creation of other happiness shows on TV and radio
           Encourage further study   especially on increasing happiness    
VIII.  Personal reasons for doing the show
     A.  Passion about happiness   share my knowledge and findings
     B.  Teaching is a very good way to learn
     C.  Aid to writing my book on it
     D.  Considering becoming a happiness coach, adult Ed., Business
               teacher   generally promoting the value of happiness
     E.  No one else is doing a show like this to my knowledge
IX.  Topics we'll cover
     A.  The essence of happiness   thoughts, habit, learning, etc.
     B.  Valuing happiness
     C.  Effective and non-effective ways to achieve and enhance it
     D.  Critique of books and research on happiness
     E.  Topics like Happiness and Love, government, goodness, others
           Each show will have a Strategies and Considerations segment 
           Occasional guests
           Email me with suggestions, comments or questions 
1.  Value happiness
2.  Smile
3.  Work on increasing happiness
4.   Overcome fear anger and sadness as habitual responses to situations



02. The Happiness Increase Experiments, Part I 

  The Happiness Increase Experiments, Part I
  I.  Comprehensive happiness research began in early 1960's, 1st 
       Increase study in 1977

         3 Classic studies, 2 by Michael W. Fordyce, 1 by New Zealand
        team of Lichter, Haye and Kammann  
  II.  Intro to Michael Fordyce
       College professor teaching at Edison Community College Florida
       One of the top happiness researchers in the world
       Editorial board of The Journal of Happiness Studies  
  III.  "Development of a Program to Increase Personal Happiness"
       In The Journal of Counseling Psychology, vol24, no 6, 1977
       Was a self-study program, 3 separate experiments
       Theory   college students (presumably people in general) could
  become happier if they modify their attitudes and behaviors to become
  more like those of very happy people
       First ever scientific experiment designed to increase happiness  
       A.  Study 1
            1.  3 pilot programs developed; 1 control group
                 a.  insight program
                 b. Fundamentals program
                 c.  activities program                   
            2.  Insight program   General education in happiness 
                 a. Read chapters from Fordyce's book on happiness
                 b.  developed list of activities and habits to adapt  
            3.  Fundamentals program   specific info. on happiness
                 9 Fundamentals:       
  1.  social more
  2.  develop more outgoing personality
  3.  become more active
  4.  lower expectations and aspirations
  5.  become more optimistic and positive
  6.  get better organized and make plans
  7.  overcome negativity and worrying
  8.  live in the present
  9.  Value happiness
            Subjects given detailed instructions on how to accomplish
   D.  Activities program   no instruction
            1. relied on person's intuitive understand of what made them
            2.  Developed a list of activities to increase based on above
            3.  Theory   do more of what makes you happy.  
   E.  Control group
            1.  given false instructions   same expectations as above
            2.  In order to control for experiment artifacts like demand
  characteristics, good subject effect, etc.         
  F.  All subjects were measure pre and post experiment on happiness
            1.  happiness measures have been validated by 4 decades 
            2.  measurements also controlled for artifacts
  G.  Results
       1. Significant increases in happiness after 2 weeks
       2. Fundamentals and Activities more effective than insight
       3. After 2 months subjects who voluntarily continued the program
  with no additional instructions had greater gains
            a.  felt changes had been incorporated into personality
            b.  felt optimistic about maintaining gains.
  IV.  Study #2
       Developed and used Fundamentals program   most successful of 3
  initial programs
       Expanded course from 2 to 6 weeks  
  The previous 9 plus
  10 Develop closest relationships
  11 be a better friend
  12 do more meaningful work
  13 reduce negative feelings and worry separated into two skills
  14 develop a healthy personality   similar to more outgoing  
       A.  results confirmed fist experiment   greater success overall
            1.  97%  of the students reported program as successful  
  V  Study #3
       1.  same study as #2 but done independently by students
       2.  those who did the most had the best success.
  VI.  The H. Increase Experiments part II will investigate the New
  Zealand Teams strategies ; concentrate more on degree of success 
  (may not follow next week)




03. Happiness and Government


  Happiness and Government  
  Why should Governments get directly involved in happiness?
       While 89% happy 69 out of 100%, unhappy 54%, 25% dep. D       
  Role of Government   Provide for the welfare of the people
       We are the Government; decide what it should and shouldn't do
            Explore space, build highways, create national parks
       Past Gov. initiatives
            Political and personal freedom, equality and civil rights
            Social Security to care for the elderly and incapacitated
            Medicaid to provide for health care needs of the poor
            War on drugs
            New war on terrorism
       Everything Gov does is implicitly for purpose of happiness  
  What Fed Gov now does to help us politically   in elections
            Lower taxes   money influences happiness very little
            Education   educated people no happier than uneducated
  14 Federal Depts.   all indirectly help us become happier
            Transportation gets people and things to where they are
            Needed and wanted   ultimately for happiness
            Defense and new Homeland Security depts.   prevent others
            From taking our happiness away
            Education   creates a workforce for our economy
            Commerce   facilitates conducting of business   
  What should our Federal Government be doing to DIRECTLY address
  our Population's greatest desire; happiness which we are almost

       Studies have demonstrated that increasing h. is quick and easy
  Dept of Happiness that oversees the following;
       A national index to measure H.   Diener
            Physical measures
       Teaching of happiness in schools and through adult ed.
            Right now kids go to school more for society
            With 12 years education time can be devoted to h.
            Would probably reduce dropout rates, very high NYC
            Teach kids to succeed at what is most important to s.
       Encourage business to get into happiness business
            If business get involved, less taxes to Fed Gov
            Kaplan, Berlitz, dancing, martial arts
            Pharmaceutical solutions
            Through tax incentives, loan guarantees
       Promote Happiness through the Media   TV, radio
            Business uses media primarily to make money
            Right now there is C-span for congress
            On cable and satellite, over 100 stations devoted to 
            Everything from sports to shopping to comedy
            Public station devoted to helping people get happier
       Promote happiness increase politically like with economy, 
                health, education, drugs    during elections, initiatives
       Foreign Policy   way to address terrorism
            Traditionally we export democracy and capitalism
            Exporting happiness increase would be wiser
            Only people not capable of happiness are the starving
            Terrorists organizations
                 recruit from among the poor primarily
                 exist ultimately to increase happiness of cert. People.
            Things that people want like more money, more person
            Al and political freedom, religious influence are good 
            To have, but not necessary.. For people's happiness
            Global happiness is probably best deterrent to global  ter.  
       We can afford to spend money on helping world's people
            US is responsible for 43% of world's econ. production
            Mil budget next year greater than all other countries 
            Only 4% of our GNP ( very low historically)
            Only 1/1000 of 1% on foreign aid
            We could spend 10 times what we now spend easily  
  Benefits of a happier American and world population
       Happy people are better people, more good   less crime
       Happy people are healthier   lower health care costs
       Happy people are more productive   greater economic growth
       Happy people enjoy life more, are more pleasant to be with  
  Why hasn't our Government directly address happiness needs of pop?
       Ideas have their time   civil rights, woman's rights, environmental 
       Concerns, political and personal freedom, democracy
       We, the people must ask for it  
  What can we do to awaken ourselves and our Gov. to addressing this
       2004 presidential election
            Cite unhappiness figures to politicians
            Ask them what they are doing directly
            Inform them about happiness increase research
             Its Happiness Stupid!
       Talk about it with others
            Create grass roots movement
            Educate others about extent of our unhappiness and h. increase  
  Sounds like an idealistic, utopian goal
       Happiness is the purpose of our lives
       We have the knowledge to easily make us all much happier
       We are not taking advantage of this knowledge
       We are risking the happiness we have now   terrorism
       Aristotle   Happiness is the greatest good



04. Happiness through Other People


Happiness through Other People
I.  Other people are our main source of happiness
	A.  significant other is most important
	B.  family and friends are next important
	C.  Other people are not necessary to our happiness
II.  Why are other people such a good source of happiness	
	A.  We are social animals more like dogs than cats
	B.  We love to talk
	C.  We love to be entertained
	D.  Others help us feel like we matter
	E.  Others provide us an opportunity to be nurturing, to care
	F.  Others give of a sense of belonging, a sense of community
	G.  Sex is our most pleasant activity
	H.  Others help us understand ourselves and life in general
III.  How do we ordinarily enjoy each other?
	A.  We tell each other what we are doing, have done, 
	B.  We share information of value to each other
	C.  We attend to each others' emotional and physical needs
	D.  We share activities like meals,  TV, hobbies, shopping
	E.  We come together for common goals like work, religion
	F.  We entertain each other - the media does most for us
	G.  We keep each other company to avoid loneliness
IV.  What do we need to do to enjoy others as much as possible
	A.  Understand and be forgiving - we didn't create ourselves, we're imperfect
	B.  Take risks; overcome fear of hurt and rejection
	C.  Make plans - call, write; plan out our social lives
	D.  Listen - be interested in others; keep exchange equal
	E.  Don't be excessively selective about friends
	F.  Introduce friends to friends - network socially
	G.  Make time for other people - don't work too much or hard
	H.  Be entertaining - cultivate social skills, humor, personality
	I.  Be supportive - help others to feel happy 
	J.  Don't overdo time with others
	K.  Make as many friends as possible; also acquaintances
	L.  Cooperate rather than competing
	M.  Learn to be assertive; avoid passive aggression
	N.  Compromise
	O.  Value other people
	P.  Remind ourselves that our purpose with others is enjoyment
VI.  Relationship skills and society
	A.  It should be taught in schools
	B.  Our government should facilitate relationships
		1.  Government broadcasting on TV, radio, internet
		2.  Eliminate or minimize things like marriage penalties
		3.  Expand reach out programs to shut-ins, the elderly
		4.  Indoor parks - inexpensive for winter socializing
	C.  Businesses can teach people social skills like they do language
	D.  Media should be far more responsible in how they portray peo..
VII.  Wise other people strategies
	A.  Use the telephone - value the connection
	B.  Throw parties - get invited to them, encourage them
	C.  Visit others, and invite others to visit - teatime etc.
	D.  Hold friendships as important as right and wrong
	E.  Join clubs, religious congregations



05. The Happiness Increase Experiments, Part II 

The Happiness Increase Experiments, Part II
  2nd in a series of 3 classic happiness increase experiments
  1st by Dr. Michael Fordyce in 1977
  This one by Shelley Lichter, Karen Haye, and Richard Kammann
       Psychologists from the University of Otago in NZ
       Called "Increasing Happiness Through Cognitive Training"
       Published in The New Zealand Psychologist, vol. 9, 1980  
  2 experiments 
       Group discussion of beliefs and attitudes
       Daily Rehearsal of positive feeling self-statements (affirmations)  
  Experiment 1
       Premise;   Irrational expectations, beliefs and attitudes bring unhap..
       Based on Albert Ellis' theory that feelings come from how we 
       evaluate events
       Idea goes back to at least as far as the Greeks 
       Used Wayne Dyer's book "Your Erroneous Zones" as reference  
       Method;   Group discussion of Dyer's list of irrational beliefs
       Expectation;   Discussions would lead to greater happiness
       Happiness measurement both before and after the experiment  
       Subjects (20 - 60 years old) divided into two initial groups
            1. Learning group 1
            2. Control group
            16 weeks later a second Learning Groups (control and others)
  15 items were discussed during eight  2 hour sessions over 4 weeks
       Each item received a 5 minute introduction
       Discussions for 20 - 30 minutes about practical applications
       Occasional homework assignments;   "what makes you angry"
       Occasional role play was used to accentuate certain points
Discussed items were:

 1. I choose my emotions and feelings
 2. I feel good about myself
 3. My feelings are controlled by other people's approval and disapproval
 4. I believe my personality is fixed
 5. I feel guilty about things I've said or done
 6. I worry about future events or the future
 7. I get angry at people or things that happen
 8. I am ready to try out new experiences
 9. I can "fail" at a task without feeling bad (blaming myself).
10. I find fault with others.
12. I demand I get justice and fairness.
13. I can act independently on my own feelings and beliefs.
14. I am (ready to be) emotionally open and close to somebody.
15. I enjoy my present moments.

  After the 4 weeks Subjects were re-measured for happiness
  6 weeks later subjects were measured a third time
  Course was run again after 16 weeks for Learning Group 2 
  After 4 weeks happiness level of Learning Group 1 increased 22%
  Control Group happiness level remained the same  
  At the ten week follow-up, LG's level increased an additional 9%
  Control Group remained the same  
  16 weeks later; Learning Group  (4 weeks) experienced a 42% increase
  Experiment #2 was conducted by Karen Haye
  Premise;  Rehearsing positive self-statements for 2 weeks, (affirmations) 
       would raise subjects' level of happiness
  Based on Emmet Velton's famous 1968 study - positive and negative 
       moods lasting over an hour were induced by reciting self-
       Statements for several minutes
  This experiment is a classic in psychology, cited in many articles  
  Subjects were college students;  two groups
       1.  Treatment Group
       2.  Control Group  
  They were given 3 lists of 18 statements that were the opposite of 
       statements representative of clinical depression
  1st list   mild form,  "I don't consider myself a bad person at all"
  2nd list medium form, "I think I'm a good sort of person" 
  3rd list  strong form,  "I feel good about my self"  
  The statements were as follows (all are strong examples):
 1. I feel good about myself.
 2. I've got a lot of fine qualities.
 3. I'm loved and trusted by those close to me.
 4. I'm looking really great today.
 5. I have confidence in my decisions.
 6. I prefer to make decisions carefully, but promptly.
 7. Today looks great.
 8. I have a feeling that the future is going to bring good things.
 9. I have no control over some of life's misfortunes.
10. I accept the fact that I have my weaknesses, but I can do something about them.
11. I can't wait to get started on something.
12. It's better to get unpleasant jobs out of the way right now.
13. I love being alive.
14. Up to a point I like being independent.
15. I feel great about myself as a person.
16. I get a lot of pleasure out of everything I do.
17. I'm feeling close and loving about the people around me.
18. I'm feeling in a great mood.
  Subjects read statements for 10 minutes each morning for 2 weeks
  They could spend as much time on each statement as they wished
  Beforehand they read the following paragraphs:  
My success will depend on my willingness to be open, and to respond to the ideas in each statement. I will allow each idea, each feeling, to act upon me without interference. I will concentrate my full attention on these statements. I will go over each statement again and again in my head with the desire to really believe in it. I will experience each idea and identify myself with it. I will move further and further into it, until I do feel the way the statement suggests.

I might even find that memorizing certain statements and saying them to myself during the day will help me.

I will train myself into adopting this outlook, this healthy way of thinking, into my everyday life. I will let these suggestions act upon me. I will become a happier person because I am feeling good about myself and my life. I will be able to get myself out of low moods by reading these statements to myself. I will be better able to control my moods.

  Both Treatment Groups and the Control groups filled out a 
       happiness questionnaire each night before going to sleep
  These tests are highly reliable   40 years of validity
  Treatment Group recorded which list (mild, etc) they read from  
  Subjects in the Treatment Group had a 25% increase in their level of H.  
  Results of both studies similar to Dr. Fordyce's results using 14 fundamentals  
  On Thursday, June 5th, we will review the third classic happiness increase
       experiment, also published by Michael Fordyce three years after this
       one in 1983  
  Strategies and Considerations



07. Happiness and the Determinism vs. Free Will Question


  Happiness and the Determinism/Free Will Question  
  This show devoted to explaining that Fate, also known as Destiny
       or, within a religious context, God, determines everything we
       think, feel, and do, and how this understanding can help us
       better enjoy two very important sources of happiness, our
       selves, and other people.
  More specifically, understanding determinism keeps us from blaming and hating
  others and ourselves, and keeps us away from pride and envy   
  I'll begin by explaining why free will is impossible
  Then I'll show how to apply the understanding of determinism. to our lives
  I don't wish to offend religious believers in free will
  Understanding determinism is not necessary to great happiness   makes it easier  
  Definition of Free will and Determinism or Predetermination
  Idea goes back at least as far as the Greeks   Pythagoras, Democritus, and
  Many Philosophers have addressed the question
  Basically, they have virtually all been in agreement that free will is impossible  
  Sir James Jeans   Famous British Physicist, astronomer and mathematician
     First to propose that matter is continuously created throughout universe
       In 1943 published a book titled Physics and Philosophy
       Originally co published. by Cambridge U. Press and Macmillan Co.
       Still in print, by Dover Publications
  On page 205 of the Dover ed. He writes:  
  "Practically all modern philosophers of the first rank   Descartes, Spinoza,
  Leibniz, Locke, Hume, Kant, Hegel, Mill, Alexander, as well as many others  
  have been determinists in the sense of admitting the cogency of the arguments for
  determinism, but many have at the same time been indeterminists in the sense of
  hoping to find a loophole of escape from these arguments.  Often they conceded
  that our apparent freedom is an illusion, so that the only loophole they could hope
  to find would be an explanation as to how the illusion could originate."  
  This is not just a philosophical question
  There is a very strong scientific, logical, and spiritual basis for Determinism.
  On page 212 Dr. Jeans writes the following:  
  "The further psychology and common sense probe into the question, the more
  necessary they find it to accept orthodox determinism   our acts are determined by
  our volitions, our volitions, by our motives, and our motives by our past.  The
  psychologists will think of this past in terms of heredity and environment, the
  moralist in terms of ethical and spiritual influences, and the physiologist in terms
  of physico-chemical activities.  But all will agree that the relative strength of the
  various motives is determined by past events, so that a man never chooses for
  himself; his past always chooses for him."  
  Further down on the page he asserts that, notwithstanding considerations arising
  from quantum physics, this opinion is also shared by the vast amount of present-
  day physicists.
  While book was published in 1943, nothing new in physics refutes this.  
  Einstein, also a determinist, once said the following:  
  "Honestly I cannot understand what people mean when they talk about the
  freedom of will.  I feel that I will light my pipe and I do it, but how can I connect
  this up with the idea of freedom?  What is behind the act of willing to light the
  pipe? Another act of willing?  
  There are several ways of understanding why our thoughts and acts are all
  1.Psychological   The Nature / Nurture debate
       Underlying that debate is the acknowledgement that either genes
            or the environment determines human behavior
       The Pleasure principle   we're programmed to seek pleasure  
  2.  Logical   If we had free wills, we would all be very happy and good.
       Some people believe we have limited free will   must explain
       Thoughts just come into our minds   from where, how?  
  3.  Physical   Causality and Determinism
       Principle of Cause and Effect
       The past causes the present, the present causes the future
       A very important part of Newtonian, or Classical Physics
       The advent of Quantum Physics in the early 1900's
       Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of 1924
            Impossible to measure position and momentum simultaneously
            Like with both sides of a quarter
       Led some Physicists to conclude
            Sub atomic particles don't have position and momentum simult.
            Law of Cause and Effect is negated
            Called the Copenhagen Interpretation; Neils Bohr
            Nothing in quantum Physics requires this interpretation
       Quantum Mechanics must rely on Cause and Effect to work
            It relies on probabilities concerning groups of particles
            These probabilities could not arise without cause and effect
       Quantum phenomenon limited to sub atomic, and not macro world
       In Macro world cause and effect still governs everything
       Our Thoughts are carried by neurons that are macro in nature
       Perhaps thoughts are sub-atomic
            That's a metaphysical question at this time
            Like how time could be eternal, never having begun
       Our best understanding of reality is that it is gov. by cause and effect.
       As such, free will is impossible  
  4.  Religious   An omnipotent God  -  Logically negates free will - ambivalent
       Genesis 17,1   "I am the Almighty; obey me and live as you should."
       Deuteronomy   "I've given you a choice between a blessing and a curse"
       An Almighty or omnipotent God can't grant free will, by definition
       Like "Can God create a rock so heavy that even He couldn't lift it"
       Woman from Man's rib, (evolution) 6,000 year old world
       Understanding that everything is pre-determined is not nec. to Happiness  
  Conclusion; Yes we're puppets, and fate, or God, is the puppeteer
       As Shakespeare put it " All the world's a stage, and all the men and women
       merely players
       We can never-the-less become very happy
       To the extent that we do, it will have been fated  
  Why is understanding Determinism important to our happiness?
       The belief in free will causes needless blame, pride, and envy  
  Blaming others and ourselves
       Someone does something wrong to us   lies, steals, betray us
       We blame them which leads to anger toward them and separation  
  Understanding determinism
       They were fated to do what they did   they were also victims of fate
       We might blame fate or God, but remain close to the other person
       We might still want to take precautions or punish if necessary
       We would do this without enmity
  Same principles apply to when we do something wrong  
  Envy and Pride
       Someone we know has something we don't; money, talent, fame, power,
       We envy them thinking that they earned these blessings
       We suffer lower self-esteem in comparison
  Understanding determinism
       Other person was blessed by fate, was simply fortunate, not his doing
       There is no reason to look up to the person
       We may still want what they have
  Same principle applies to what we do and have
       If we remember we're just lucky, we don't become arrogant
       We give credit to God, or Fate  
  Basic considerations in understanding determinism
       We still get rewarded or punished for what we do   by laws and nature
       We still have to protect ourselves from the evil of others
       So what that we're puppets
            We don't choose when we're born or die, who our parents will be etc.
            Much of life is not in our control   even believing in free will
       Forgiveness and understanding determinism yield similar results
            We already believe that everyone does the best they can
       Understanding determinism leads to better relationships
       The better our relationships, the happier we can become.  



08. Happiness: The Highest Good

  Happiness: The Highest Good  
  Idea dates back to at least the Greeks   Aristotle, Ethics   was the first  
  What is goodness  
       One of the most difficult questions in philosophy
       What is virtuous, moral, ethical; these are synonyms
       Relative to a benefactor; God, Society, Parents
       Utilitarian philosophy   what brings happiness to people

  Why is Happiness the Highest Good?  
       It's the goal or purpose of goodness in general
       Goodness could not exist were it not for happiness   God's, etc
       It's the goal or purpose of all specific types of goodness  
  Qualities -   
       Loving and being loved bring happiness
       Happiness is why we seek love
       To love someone is care deeply about the happiness of the other  
  Compassion and Kindness
       We help others in order to help them become happy or happier
       Even misguided compassion, like the Crusades, is about hap.       
       Fosters trust, leads to peace of mind, allows happiness  
       To disrespect causes others unhappiness, pain  
  Work, and being productive
       It maintains present happiness and secures future hap., investment  
       Obeying God is rewarded here and in hereafter with happiness
       We are instructed to serve without thought of reward, but 
  Other aspects of life that ultimately bring happiness:  
       Knowledge is a tool for creating a better world   happier world  
       Brings peace of mind, and happiness  
       Health to keep us alive for the sake of those who love us  
       A very effective means of exchange and motivator
       Business has as its goal greater happiness   can be selfish  
       Married people are generally somewhat happier than singles  
       Makes getting things done for the public good much easier  
  Utilitarian Philosophy measure of Goodness
       That which brings greatest happiness to greatest number
       That's how governments ideally operate
            Allocation of resources toward that end  
  Logical Consequences of Happiness as the Highest Good
  Should be the first priority
  in raising children   goodness is a means
  in Public Schools
       in Government
       in Religions
       in Business
       in Foreign Policy and Foreign Affairs
  To just be barely happy or not happy is to not be very good
  Seeking great happiness is not selfish or hedonistic
       A concern for others must also be evident
  The best we can do for others is help them find greater happiness
  Becoming happier is an effective way to become a better person
  Happiness in relation to goodness in general
       Being happy through evil not wise or good
            Could have long term unseen consequences   justice
       Being too good is unwise, probably because of lower hap.  
  Global Goals related to happiness and goodness  
       Everyone on the planet should be fed   given a chance at hap.
       Consider happiness as more important than economic prosper., 
       technological advancement, and all other good endeavors
       All others are good only as they serve our happiness



10. Happiness and its Distractions 

  Happiness and its Distractions

  Happiness requires a focus of attention  
       Acknowledging our happiness
            Saying "I am happy"
            Usually automatic, can be actively conscious
            Overcoming philosophical, religious, psychological barriers
  like false modesty and humility, ethics and guilt  
       Cognitive Selection and Evaluation
            Choosing pleasant thoughts
                 Waiting for a train   enjoying the scenery, etc
                 Not dwelling on problems or imperfections
            Seeing the glass as half full
                 Seeking the pleasure, and overlooking the unpleasant  
       Not being distracted by other stimuli
            Work, hobbies, ambitions, projects, goals etc
            Unpleasant emotions and thoughts, and desires
  What are the specific distracters to our happiness and how do we over
  come them?  
       Unpleasant emotions   see the uneccesity of having them
            Fear   don't worry
            Anger   see the illogic an unneccesity of it
            Sadness   see the illogic an uneccesity of it  
            Minimize desires
            Limit desires to those easily or pleasantly attained
            Connect desires to goal of happiness
            Believe that we always have what we need to be happy  
            Work   don't do to much or work too hard
            The perfect is the enemy of the good
            Veer away from wrong kind of work for other goals like
  money, prestige, power, etc
            Projects- like remodeling home, writing a book 
            Evaluate how important they are, how necessary
            If you're not enjoying it you're doing it wrong  
       Leisure act ivies   Like TV, free time, groups people
            TV can make you feel worse studies show
            Be very selective in how, and with whom you spend time  
       Need to know , curiosity   News watching and reading
            TV watching   especially the war
                 Things don't happen that quickly
                 Most of what is presented is totally unnecessary to know
                 Ignorance is bliss  
       Ignorance of what makes us happy
            We spend time in ineffective or inefficient pursuits
            Learn what makes you happy and do a lot of it  
       Comparisons and competition
            Many people base their happiness on this
            Choose right comparisons
            Don't compete socially  
       Right and Wrong, Perfectionism, Focusing on problems
            Things don't have to be right, or perfect, applies to world
            People don't have to be good  
       Materialism   expecting things to make us happy; clothes, etc.
            This strategy is very short lived  
       Philosophy of life   shouldn't be enjoying while others suffer
            Pleasure is hedonistic, wrong
            Guilt over feeling good while others suffer
            Life was made for pleasure and happiness
       Our unhappiness doesn't help those suffering
       Comfort and ease   easier to not feel good  common with depress..
            Education in happiness   it can be increased   motivation
  General strategies for staying focused on happiness  
       Happiness is a habit
            A conscious and sustained effort is needed  
       Active sustained focus on happiness
            Recognition that happiness is the goal always
            Willpower to stay focused
            Associate everything with happiness   consider it always  
       Select and prioritize activities
            Pleasures vs. investments in greater happiness, e.g. TV
            Always ask   how happy is this making me?
            Do only what is necessary of work you don't enjoy

  Societal Distractions to happiness  
       Preoccupation with wealth, material prosperity, status
            Government   Dept of Happiness
            Business   happiness business
            Media   Don't buy into the status hype  
       Preoccupation with Knowledge   academic learning
            Schools   teach happiness
            Leisure   learn happiness on our own, not news, facts  
       Preoccupation with entertainment
            TV, especially   teach happiness instead  
       Preoccupation with problems   Fix everything mentality
            Media   crime, Environment, medicine, etc.  
       Free Market society   Liaise Fair Government
            No one is caring about or guiding our happiness
            Businesses concentrate on products to make money  
       The work ethic
            Many of us work much harder than we need to
                 Processed foods, expensive toys, hobbies, lifestyle
            Work less to avoid stress
            Create time for pleasure



11. The Happiness Increase Experiments, Part III

  The Happiness Increase Experiments, Part III

  3rd classic happiness experiment
  by Michael Fordyce
  Called  "A Program to Increase Happiness:  Further Studies," 
  The Journal of Counseling Psychology 1983, Vol. 30, number 4
  After going through this I will summarize the 3 studies, make conclusions  
  4 new studies
  Modified replications of studies 1, 2, and 3 in Fordyce's 1977 exper.
  New studies:
       Provided more stringent controls to prevent artifacts
       Utilized a greater variety of criterion measures
       Followed up on the results for a longer period of time  
  Brief recounting of the 14 fundamentals  - Worded differently than in 1977
  1.  Keep busy and be more active
  2.  Spend more time socializing
  3.  Be productive at meaningful work
  4.  Get better organized and plan things out
  5.  Stop worrying
  6.  Lower your expectations and aspirations
  7.  Develop positive, optimistic thinking
  8.  Become present oriented
  9.  Develop an outgoing, social personality
  10.  Work on a healthy personality
  11.  Be yourself
  12.  Eliminate negative feelings and problems
  13.  Close relationships are the number one source of happiness
  14.  Put happiness as your most important priority.

  Study #4
       Control group received part 1 of the training
            Reviewed past happiness literature
            Received lectures on meaning and importance of happiness
            Were given a brief overview of the 14 fundamentals
       Experimental group also received
            Detailed elaboration of the 14 fundamentals
            Cognitive and behavioral techniques to help achieve them  
  Examples of some of the techniques:
  For "Stop Worrying"
  1.  keep a daily record of worries
  2.  Analyze amount of time spend worrying
  3.  Determine how many worries actually come true
  4.  Use thought substitution techniques to avert worrying  
  Training lasted for 11 weeks
  10 separate measures of happiness change were used  
  More information given, the greater the happiness increase
  Techniques and understanding of principles were main factors  
  6% experienced "extreme" happiness increase
  30%  experienced "much greater" happiness
  39% "improved somewhat" in their happiness
  6% experienced "slight increments"
  17% experienced "no effect"
  2% had a decrease in happiness  
  Of the 19%
       Some were already very happy to begin with
       Others chose to ignore the program  
  Study #5  
  Control group given same introduction and detailed instruction in 4 fund.
  Experimental group given full instruction again
  Measures of emotional health were taken
  4 fundamentals taught to the control were:
       1.  Spend more time socializing
       2.  Be more active
       3.  Be productive at meaningful work
       4.  Get better organized
  These 4 were deemed easiest to follow
  10 weeks of instruction  
  Not much difference between control and experimental group
  Increases in mental health were found
  Study was considered too stringent   4 fundamentals very effective
  Study 6  
  5 groups
       1 complete instruction
       2,3, and 4 given 1/3rd of the fundamentals
       5 was a control   no detailed information about happiness (like, experiments
  1, 2, and 3 in 1977)  
  Time series testing was used every two weeks
  to measure changes in h. during experiment  
  Group 1 was given lifestyle change fundamentals and
       Close relationships are the number one source of happiness
       E.g..  Keep busy and be more active  
  Group 2 was given attitude and value related fundamentals and
       Close relationships are the number one source of happiness
       Eg.  Lower your expectations
  Group 3 was given personality related fundamentals
       E.g.. Be yourself  
  Groups subjects were assigned to reflected their lowest scores on pretests  
  All experimental groups had uniformly increasing happiness
  Lifestyles group experienced the greatest gain, not by much
  Full instruction group did no better than the 1/3rd instruction groups  
  Study 7
  Tested how long the happiness increases lasted
  Subjects were questioned 9-18 months after training ended.  
  29% found information made them "somewhat happier"
  25%                                                  "a good deal happier"
  24%                               helped them "extremely" in their happiness  
  On average subjects estimated that their level of happiness was  12 percentage
  point higher than it would have been without training.
  Generally less happy one is greater gain- harder to become very happy  
  Summery of  Happiness Increase Techniques in 3 classic experiments
  1.  instruction in fundamentals of happiness, like just presented
  2.  Discussion about happiness relevant material, Lichter, Haye, and Kammann
  3.  Affirmations  
  Initial happiness gains of about 25%,   long term, about 12 percent for fund.
  25% gain increases 69% average to 86%
  12% gain increases 69% average to 77%  
  State of Happiness Increase Experimentation after 1983
  No replications followed during the immediate years after the studies
  1992 Understanding Subjective Well-Being by Bruce Headey and Alex Waring
       Stated that long term happiness increase was theoretically impossible
       Not tested

  Dr Ruut Veenhoven -The Netherlands  Leading expert on International Happiness
       Too little money for research   no industry interest like pharmaceuticals
       Science, especially clinical psychologists, don't value hap. enough 
            Not used as an outcome variable in psychotherapy research
       Training may not apply to everyone  
  Dr. Diener   leading expert on Happiness in the world
       Thought that perhaps Fordyce had too many components working in 
       Experiments   difficult to determine what worked    
  1998  Positive Psychology movement began
  Coinciding (late 1990"s) researchers again began to conduct increase experiments
  Sonja Lyubomirsky and Kennon Sheldon in particular have been promoting study



13. Happiness and the Perfect World Movie 

  Happiness and the Perfect World Movie

  Before we start   announcement
  The Ethical Culture Society. of Westchester will be sponsoring our show
  E.C. is a religious and educational fellowship devoted to promoting ethical living
  The congregation is warm, and friendly, and very concerned with our world
  They're located here in White Plains at 7 Saxon Wood Road
  I just became a member a few weeks ago
  Ethical Culture is a Humanist religion founded in 1876 by Felix Adler
  Our Westchester Soc.  will periodically produce episodes of The Happiness Show 
  Focus on the connection between happiness and goodness.
  Next week, Bart Worden, the leader of our W. Ethical Society will host it's 1st 
  I hope you'll tune in for this very special show
  Our feelings and behavior is greatly influenced by experience
       The environment   events mold us  
  The media mirrors us as a society; we are influenced by the media  
  It can rally us to war, or to help famine victims, or to see a movie  
  It can make us more socially tolerant; it can make us more violent  
  Our movies have a tradition of accentuating the worst that could happen
       Catastrophe movies:
       The Towering Inferno
       The Titanic
  These movies influence us to fear our world
  They move us to feel great pain
  Violence on TV certainly makes children more violent
  Many movies we watch may contribute to our high anxiety levels
  and depression levels   25% of us depressed at any time   Seligman  
  Few movies try to present purely pleasant experiences, like a concert
       Perhaps because of theory of conflict in story   a myth       
  Some try to present "happily ever after" endings  
  This show is about presenting the rational for a new genre of movie
  The exact opposite of catastrophe/horror movies
  Designed to influence us to embrace life, not dread or regret it
  A Perfect World Movie
       Would depict an absolutely pleasant, trouble-free existence
       A utopia, or paradise on Earth
       Just as unrealistic as Giant Insects controlling earth, or aliens        
  Would serve as a role model to work toward
  Would inspire hope and vision regarding what our world could be
  Would present a totally pleasant vicarious experience
  Would demonstrate that sitting through 1  movie could be a totally pleasant
  experience, like attending a 1  new age music concert   
  No need to present any specific ideology
  Just depict everyone enjoying every minute of their lives
  Going about their daily routines absorbed with pleasure and goodness
  Should include everyone, all sections of society, all parts of world
  Could come about in either a realistic or non-realistic manner  
  Individual happiness can be increase greatly by working together
  Such a movie could inspire us to undertake the challenge  
  Examples of what perfect world movies could present;
       No wars, or threat of war
       Racial and ethnic harmony; mixed marriages etc.
       No persona conflict,  plotting against one another like in soaps
       No illnesses or accidents, everyone in perfect health
       Everyone everywhere enjoying whatever they did
  Answers to arguments saying that such a movie would never work
       In reality today we have generally very pleasant days   Weddings
       Many of us believe that when we die we will experience absolute bliss
       We'll never know unless we try  
  We are obsessed with violence, fear and pain
  We are the most violent country in the world
  We have developed a masochistic and sadistic approach to pleasure
  Movies and perhaps TV shows depicting how things could be would serve as a
  great way to lead us in the right direction
  A perfect world movie could inspire us to work to become happier
  It might make many of us unhappy seeing such a movie
  Of course we seem to love movies that sadden and depress us anyway  
  How can we get this kind of movie made?
  Word of mouth   talk about it, write about it.  If you can write stories or
  screenplays, do it
  If you know someone who needs something new to write about, tell them




14. Happiness is Dependent on our Thoughts

  Happiness is Dependent on our Thoughts
  Review - The four components of happiness, by Ed Diener of U. of Ill.
       Presence of pleasant affect
       Absence of unpleasant affect
       Satisfactions with domains of life
       Satisfaction with life in general
       Hedonic components are largely based on cognitive appraisal
       Satisfaction components are based on judgments
       Both types of components are based on thoughts.
  Idea isn't new
       Epictetus   Greek "People are disturbed not by things, but how they view
       Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck based therapies on this idea
       Seligman 1984 cites that this type of psychotherapy is one of two proven to
       cure depression   ECT and antidepressants are also effective
       Ed Diner's Evaluation Theory of Happiness uses this principle as his 
  How it works
       An event happens  "someone says something, something doesn't happen - 
       We perceive it
       We judge, or appraise it cognitively
       We react emotionally based on our cognitive appraisal
       We always have a choice in how we appraise events
  What factors cause us to perceive events, or stimuli, in a certain way?
       Genetic factors   about 50% of personality traits, 80% intell.
       Learned reactions
            By direct experience and reasoning
            By being taught directly   parents, teachers, friends
            Being taught by modeling
       Habits of reaction are developed and function automatically
  How can we change our unpleasant appraisals?
       Example   a train is late   it won't make you late to anything anyway
       Habitual response is to become impatient and frustrated
  Challenge the logic of the appraisal   a train is late
       Look for alternative appraisals   e.g.. I can enjoy the day, so what?
       Force of will   I won't let this delay ruin my mood
       Reality check with others   How do you not get angry with trains?
       Repetition of pleasant appraisals   to form a new habit of reaction
  What kinds of appraisals should we be changing?
       Any that cause fear, anger, sadness, disgust, or unpleasant Surprise
       Any not in our best interest   becoming angry at boss or baby
  Example of how we can control thoughts leading to unpleasant emotions  
  Fear   of speaking before an audience   People's greatest fear
       What exactly am I afraid of   be specific
            Not being appreciated?
            Being embarrassed or shamed?   appearing foolish?  
       Why would this happen?
            I might become nervous, and lose my composure
            I might forget what I needed to say
            The audience might be feeling hostile
            I might inadvertently offend the audience
       How can I avoid this potential shame or frustration?
            Most audiences will not try to shame the speaker
            It is unlikely that I will offend the audience
       What do I do if I do become embarrassed or feel unappreciated?
            Big deal   it really isn't that important
            I'm human and we sometimes become emotional
            Philosophical   It's all God's will, or Its all for the best
            Unpleasant emotions don't help
            Unpleasant emotions are not necessary
            Unpleasant emotions often make things worse
            Look for pleasant appraisals of the situation
                 Find humor in your embarrassment or frustration
                 People sometimes warm up to someone in trouble
  This process of choosing our reactions can be applied to any situation
       Prepare in advance if possible
  The cue is any unpleasant feeling
       The overall strategy is to make new reactions habitual through reps.
  The process can also be applied to domain and global satisfaction judgments
       Low income   more money doesn't create more happiness
       Difficult marriage   marriage;  is only one aspect of life, happy other ways
       Not enough friends   spend more time with friends I have
       My life is a complete failure   I can still be very happy
  By choosing our reactions we address the four components of happiness
       Decreasing unpleasantness and increasing pleasure raises happiness
       Judging events in a way that achieves satisfaction creates happiness



17. Happiness as our Guiding Purpose

  Happiness as our Guiding Purpose   

  What is happiness?
      4 components:
          1.  Experience of pleasure
          2.  non-experience of displeasure
          3.  satisfaction with life domains - work, marriage, education, friends, etc.
          4.  Satisfaction with life in general
  What is the relationship between happiness and pleasure?
  Pleasure is more immediate, sensory; happiness is more a state of mind, and
  emotion or mood.
  The foundation of happiness is pleasure
  How has happiness been understood in the past?
  By the Greeks?  Aristotle
  By Freud and modern psychologists? Hedonic principles
  What is the purpose of every thought we have, thing we do?  - decrease pain and
  increase pleasure   in order to maintain or increase our happiness
  Work long hours for more money, 12 years of school, chores, shopping, all of our
  What is the pleasure quotient, and why is it important?
  We often undergo pain in the present to experience greater pleasure in the future
  Why is it important for us to understand the role pleasure and happiness play in
  our lives?
  The better we understand this, the better able we will be to access pleasure and
  achieve happiness
  We often seek pleasure and happiness in ineffective or distracting ways
          Seeking money, education success, appearance, power
          Resorting to negative emotions
  Can we learn to become much happier?
   There is a genetic "set point," but it can be overcome
   Experiments in the late 70's, early 80's proved that it could be done in 2 weeks
  What are the difficulties in increasing happiness?
   Many popular happiness books are untested and reflect the author's philosophy 
  Books by psychologists on happiness are mainly academic
  There are no courses in school on this, and there are no businesses teaching this
  How do we become more in tune with happiness as our guiding purpose?
  Remind ourselves   put up signs, put it on your answering machine, say it daily
  "Happiness is my one desire; goodness is my one obligation"
  Stop postponing happiness - it is almost always available in the present
  "If we're not enjoying what we do, we're likely doing it wrong"
  We should question our negative feelings   we are being distracted by them
  Don't suffer needless pain through more work, more money, etc than we need
  Overcome desires   Don't let them over-ride our purpose - The Buddhist way
   Become political with happiness - Government, schools
  Get into the habit of practicing happy thoughts
  What is the relationship between happiness and goodness?
   Happiness is the highest good
   Goodness has as it's purpose, happiness
       Measure of Goodness: The greatest happiness for the greatest number -         
       Utilitarian belief - Bentham
   We choose goodness over pleasure always to gain reward and avoid punishment
  Happiness is our guiding purpose
  Everything we do is designed to maintain or increase our happiness
  The better we understand this the happier we will be




19. The Importance of Valuing Happiness

 The Importance of Valuing Happiness
  What it means to value happiness
  Understand that it is our basic goal in life
  Value happiness above all other goals, like success (mention goodness)
  Understand that everything we do is intended to achieve H.
       Hedonic principles - Freud's pleasure and reality principles
  Why it's important to value happiness
  It is necessary to maintaining and increasing it
  The more we value it, the more we will work on increasing it
  To reap the benefits of happiness  (following are based on studies)
       Better emotional health
            Less depression, suicide, paranoia, hypochondria
            Greater self-control and coping abilities
            Less self-centeredness
            More compassion
            More cooperativeness
       Better physical health
            Bolstered immune system
            More energy, and activity
            Longer life
       Better social life
            Higher odds of marriage, lower odds of divorce
            More friends, stronger social support
            Richer social interactions
       Better work outcomes
            Greater creativity and productivity at work
            Higher quality of work and higher income
  How much do we value happiness now in the U.S.?
  It is in our Declaration of Independence
  It doesn't seem to be valued much in our present culture
       No popular TV or radio show, or magazines devoted to it
       (More on next page)
       Government doesn't measure or consider it directly in policies   
       Politicians don't talk about it
       Not taught in schools
       Businesses are not selling it or trying to sell it
  Our average level of happiness is only about 69%
  We are, on average, only happy 54% of the time
  At any one time 25% of us are depressed  
  Why don't we value it more?  
  Means take precedence over our goal: money, success, status, comfort
  It's easily measured or kept track of like money in the bank, etc.
  It's not as enticing as status, success, etc
  Hasn't been taught in schools, pushed by gov. or media or business
  Many of us believe that happiness can't be increased, no point in valuing it  
  What do we commonly value more than happiness?
       Money   number 1 perceived strategy; above poverty line very insignificant
       Success- self esteem and esteem of others leads to happiness
       Entertainment   Adults watch over 25 hours of TV per week
       Work   protestant work ethic; we often overwork ourselves 
       Material things bought with money earned at work
       Comfort; its easier to just let life happen, especially leisure
       Goals   projects, hobbies, interests  
  How do we value happiness more?  
  Understand very clearly and strongly that its our basic goal in life
       Remind ourselves of its value   put us signs if we need to
  Recognize and appreciate the benefits
  Recognize the risks that come with unhappiness
  Take a general interest in it; talk about it
  Work on increasing it   make it a goal, a measure of our success in life
  Recognize the benefits of greater happiness to our world
       Less war and terrorism and threat of war and terrorism
       More compassion toward people that need help
       Greater concern for our planet, plants, animals etc.



20. Happiness and Business

  Happiness and Business
  Why a show about happiness and business?
       Business is already in the happiness business
            Every product sold has that as it implicit purpose
            Every service rendered has that  "  "  "   
  Is there a market for happiness as a product?
       Average level of happiness in U.S. is 69%
       Throughout the world, it's much less
       Average time we spend happy is only 54%
       At any one time 25% of us are depressed   Seligman  
  Is it possible to sell happiness as a product?
       3 classic happiness experiments
            Discussion, classroom training, affirmations
            25% happier after 2-4 weeks 12% happier 9-18 months later
       New experiments by Lyubomirsky, Sheldon, Emmons etc.
            Goals, gratitude, personal responsibility, and other strategies
       Pharmaceutical solutions, like anxiety, depression etc.  
  Why hasn't business marketed happiness yet?
       Many people accept their unhappiness as inevitable   don't ask
       People don't know that increasing happiness is fast and easy
       Business is generally not aware of the psychological findings
            Consumer demand hasn't been created
       Psychologists haven't valued or promoted happiness
            Not a variable in therapy outcome studies
            Until late 90's psychology was preoccupied with negatives
                 For every 100 studies on sadness, only one on hap
            Few happiness increase experiments, although very successful       
  Precedents to Classes that would teach people to become happier
       Dance schools, language classes, exercise and martial arts, 
       Tests to get into college
  How can happiness as a product be sold?
       Directly through schools and classes
       Happiness coaches   Seligman's website
       Television shows, like this one, but more directly instructive
       Internet courses
       Books by professionals  
  Benefits to society from happiness businesses
       Lower divorce rate
       More friends
       Superior work outcomes   productivity, creativity, quality, income
       More activity, and energy
       Less depression, suicide, hypochondria, paranoia, etc.
       Greater self control, self regulation and coping abilities
       Stronger immune system
       Longer life
       Less self-centeredness
       More cooperative, charitable  
  What can we do?
       Demand happiness from our politicians
       Demand it from clinical psychologists
            Happiness coach to classes to businesses
       Talk about happiness   make it more of an issue!   


22. Happiness and Weekends 

  Happiness and Weekends  
  The importance of weekends to happiness
       Once there were no weekends
            Resulted in over fatigue, probably early death
            Weekends rejuvenate the body and mind
       Many people fought for many years to win weekends
            We should not take them for granted, like many other blessings
       Most people are more satisfied with work life than leisure life
       Most people rate vacations as their happiest times
       Weekends can be viewed as mini-vacations
            Getting together with family and friends
                 People closest to us are our main sources of happiness
            Traveling, either overnight, or daytrips
            Rest and relaxation
            Two full days devoted to pleasure and enjoyment  
  Why don't we often enjoy weekends more than we do?
       We don't plan   unlike with our vacations
       We replace work work with other kinds of work
            Many of us are workaholics who have forgotten how to enjoy leisure
            We sometimes take on too many projects   lawns, home improve.
       We don't recognize how important weekends can be to our happiness
            They are training grounds for planning and enjoying pleasure
  We take them for granted.  Another weekend every seven days  
  How can we better use our weekends to make us happier?
            Get togethers   but don't overdo them
            Don't wait until Friday
                 Increase your anticipatory pleasure
                 Others may already have plans
            Don't just see the same people each weekend   unless its really good
            Get out of the house and into the world   events, coffee shops, parks
            Keep a notebook of places to go   make list bowling etc.
            Keep pleasure at the forefront of your weekend activities
            Minimize the kinds of other jobs you take on   lawns
            If you're a workaholic, take on the job of figuring out weekends
            Make a study of weekends
                 Compare to hours we spend doing income based work
                 Talk about weekends with friends and family
                 Figure out what exactly is limiting your enjoyment of weekends
                 Figure out what enhances them, and do these things more  
            A very effective way to improve overall happiness
            Doesn't have to be extreme   take long pleasant walks  
       See weekends as mini   vacations
            Get into that mindset
            Wear different clothes
            Use imagination 



23. Happiness in Solitude 

  Happiness in Solitude
  Research findings   Other People are not necessary to our happiness
       Good because we often find ourselves alone
       Some of us live alone, or have few friends 
       Many of us end us spending much time alone as we get older
       It's therefore wise to learn to be happy in solitude  
  What do we need to keep in mind to feel happy while alone?
       Keep in mind that others are not necessary   overcome need
       Realize that our happiness is dependent upon our thoughts
            We have the power to choose our thoughts and feelings
                 Influenced by TV, music, books, other activities
       With effort we can get better and better at being happier alone
       It shouldn't surprise us if we find ourselves reaching out as a result  
  How do we become happier while alone?
       Learn to like ourselves more, appreciate ourselves
       Smile   especially while alone
       Pretend to be happy, like an actor
       Plan out and engage in activities we find pleasant more often
       Meditate   Mindfulness, TM
       Create purposes and goals that don't require others, but can be for others
       Enjoy virtual people   the media, and the internet
            TV   not too often or depression will ensue
            Radio   sometimes interactive radio
            Music recordings
            Books, especially novels
            Writing to others if possible
            Internet chat rooms and newsgroups
       Learn basic happiness skills, many are not about other people
  Engage in Self-Exploration 
            Figure out what exactly are our unpleasant thoughts
                 What are we telling ourselves   specify and refute
                 Are many of them related to missing others?
            If much of it is boredom, mindfulness is very effective
            What are our pleasant thoughts   make effort to think more often
            What are our needs and wants?
       Get well organized so that we are fulfilling our needs well
  Want happiness first; make desires concerning people secondary
  What if we really want to be with others?
       Becoming happier is probably the best way to start
       Work on relationship skills
            Figure out what is keeping us from being with others
       Understand the importance of taking risks
       There are sometimes friendship networks or phone support systems
       Seek the help of a therapist or social worker who could hook us up
  The internet is a great way to meet people
            Dating services
            Chat rooms